Coming Up Roses

Paris Rose Garden   (Photo by Spedona)

Just as you can relight the same stove time and again, you can rekindle the same relationship time and again.

It takes prioritizing and attending.  When you’re feeling physically cold, you don’t hesitate to do something about it.  Quick, turn up that heat!

But when feeling emotionally cold, you may instead turn apathetic.  You may settle into that same-old, same-old and ignore the creeping chill.  Then you kind of go numb.

Emine Saner has suggestions for turning things around.  The first is to realize that long-term relationships tend to fluctuate.  The honeymoon intensity can be regained, but it won’t be there 24/7.  Lasting love has plenty of room for all sorts of emotions.

But it does require work.  And care.  And ongoing attention.  Think of it as a garden that mysteriously and abundantly grows, but that needs tending in order to do so.

Couples therapy is one way of adding some “Miracle Grow” to the relationship.  But there are do-it-yourself methods also.  There are Relationship Reboot cards from the School of Life that encourage meaningful conversation.  There are books such as Attached by Levin and Heller that do so, as well.

Most of all, there is the willingness to prioritize your partner over many of the routine challenges that life presents.

Resources     

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/04/relight-the-fire-how-to-fall-back-in-love-with-your-partner#Echobox=1580948769

Copyright February 10, 2020 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved