Dolores had Hope

Dolores Hope in 1990
(Public Domain)

Although Dolores Hope had been greatly admired throughout her lifetime, many wondered how – and especially WHY – she so graciously fulfilled the role of Bob Hope’s wife for decades upon decades.

After all, it’s not as though Bob seemed to appreciate her steadfast devotion. To an outsider looking in, he seemed way more enamored with fans – the curvier the better - than with family.

The answer likely lies within the source of Dolores’ strength.  Her love was rooted more in Jesus than in any human being.  As a faithful Catholic, she viewed marriage as a holy sacrament - a relationship to be embraced not only with body and mind, but mainly with Soul.

Her lifelong devotion bore Fruits of the Spirit, not only for her, but also for Bob.  At the end of his long life, as the fanfare faded, he was inspired by Dolores to also embrace Catholicism.  The two of them are buried side by side within the San Fernando Mission Cemetery.

Resources

https://www.ewtnnews.com/world/us/dolores-hope-remembered-for-deep-catholic-faith?redirectedfrom=cna 

Bucket Half Full

(Photo by Wolfgang Sauber)

Although a glass half full seems optimistic, a bucket half full may feel even more so.

Many folks, especially within their elder years, begin focusing upon what they call a “bucket list.”  It consists of things they still wish to experience before kicking the proverbial one.

Not a bad idea, generally…  Yet when it becomes so consuming that the rest of life pales in comparison, some reverse bucketing might be in order.  While tipping life’s bucket backwards, one can begin to feel gratitude, and perhaps even joy, for what has already biographically occurred.  One’s cup may then feel more full than empty.

Psychiatrist Sue Varna therefore advises: “Grab a pen and paper and highlight the moments that [already] brought you joy and made you feel confident and seen.  It only takes 10 minutes.”

Resources

https://www.today.com/health/mind-body/reverse-bucket-list-psychiatrist-explains-rcna593097 

 

Is a little old ant a sentient being?

 

(Photo by Stephen Ausmus)

There’s a well-known song titled “High Hopes” which tells of a “little old ant” that can “think” about moving a rubber tree plant.  Lyricist Sammy Kahn goes on to attribute a capacity for “high hopes” to this very same creature.

Whether an ant can “think” and even “hope” remains debatable, but whether an ant qualifies as a sentient being is becoming way more acceptable. 

In 1991 the Institute for Medical Ethics (IME) drew up a list of criteria for sentience that has been instrumental in establishing animal welfare policies.  This list includes the following: receptors sensitive to noxious stimuli, behavioral follow-ups to avoid such pain, plus receptivity to analgesics. 

Anyone who’s tried to noxiously discourage an army of invading ants could affirm the presence of these IME criteria within the ants’ responses!  Add a version of “High Hopes” to the mix as they desperately flee from human attacks…

 

Resources

https://academic.oup.com/book/57949/chapter/475704868#workid-UKAC0026318-book-part-17-boxed-text-1

Getting a Word in Edgewise

(Public Domain)

There are medicalized labels for all sorts of tendencies these days.  The heretofore “blabby motormouth” is now said to be a “conversational narcissist.”  (Discerning readers are likely wondering which is worse…) 

Suggested remedies are as plentiful as silver-tongued pronouncements, and HuffPost has plenty of both.  If you’re caught between a loquacious rock and a verbose hard place, here are some of its esteemed pointers: stay in touch with your own feelings as they’re arising, try not to take the situation too personally, recall the speaker's better tendencies, empathetically communicate when you feel the need to talk, and set an internal limit on how long you will continue with this one-sided pattern. 

Resources

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/how-to-deal-with-a-conversational-narcissist/

  

Something Fishy

Count d'Artagnon
(Public Domain)

“Rest in peace” does not necessarily apply to all deceased beings.  Nor does privacy.  Even one’s bodily remains can be subject to probing investigations.

One of the famed Musketeers, Count d’Artagnon,“was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673.” You’d think that within all this time his final resting place would be known.  But it’s not.

This makes some folks all the more determined to figure things out.  Archaeologist Wim Dijkman therefore scooped up some bones from a suspected site within the nave of a Dutch church. He  neglected to follow precise methodology and may have limited all chances of knowing for sure.

But wait, there’s a clue!  Analysis of these very bones revealed a diet that had greatly favored salt-water fish. This is not congruent with the locations in France that the Count had often lived in. 

Yet some believe that there’s still hope!  Hope never dies, even though the hardiest of swashbucklers inevitably do.

 Resources

 https://www.yahoo.com/news/science/articles/bones-contention-more-research-needed-092600384.html

One woman's trash...

UNREAL
(Photo by Hubert555)

Okay, so you’re a Taylor Swift fan.  Not a problem.  But when “fan” lives up to its abbreviation for “fanatic,” things start to feel downright creepy.

In the aftermath of Swift’s Madison Square Garden wedding, a so-called “artist” gathered up trash from the surrounding walkways and sold batches of it online for $25 apiece.  These sealed-up "tangential" momentos included “bottle caps, ring pop candy, police caution tape, [and] straws.”  Worse yet, they’re being billed as “sculptures.”

Customers of such have been known as “Swifties,” due to their undying worship of this alleged “Queen of Pop.”  However, it might be far more swift to worship that which is truly Undying.

Resources

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/celebrity/articles/taylor-swift-fans-pay-25-210245224.html

 

  

We used to just call it hinting around...

(Public Domain)

It seems as though things have taken a turn for the dramatic, especially insofar as language is concerned.  What used to be simply called “hinting around” is now dubbed “dry begging.”

The very phrase “dry begging” conjures up images of extreme hunger and thirst. We’re talking the very bottom of Maslow's pyramid rather than just a fatigued spouse who’d rather not tackle the evening dishes.

In the latter case, one partner might sigh out loud, “Gee, that pillow’s looking mighty inviting…”  The other half then has a choice: He or she can make a beeline for the dishwasher or simply reply, “I’m feeling exhausted myself, how about helping out with this one last act of mercy before diving between the sheets?”

Direct communication can often avert cumulative resentments. When wants or needs are stated calmly and clearly, negotiations can more fairly proceed. “Dry begging” would then be reserved for dire situations that far transcend life’s everyday blips.  

Resources

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/love-sex/what-is-dry-begging-in-a-relationship-a-therapist-explains/rk