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Friday, March 18, 2016

Breaking up: Give yourself a break

Sedaka in 2005    (Photo by ACT1)
Neal Sedaka was absolutely right:  Breaking up is hard to do. Celia Shatzman of Women’s Health therefore counsels that people cut themselves some slack in the aftermath.

Those that say to “just get over it” are minimizing the intensity that can come with a breakup.  Shatzman reminds us that “breaking up is kind of like nixing an addiction.”  The same brain regions are involved with romance as with feel-good drugs.

Add to the mix today’s propensity for social media, and breakups are even more likely than before.  A number of studies have indicated that excessive Facebook and Twitter usage can lead to emotional and physical infidelities.

Interestingly, Shatzman also reports that “thinking about your ex nonstop may actually help you get over him [or her].”  Although this may seem counterintuitive, a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science “found that those who ruminated over their ex ended up having a stronger sense of themselves as a single person.”

Processing rather than squelching tough feelings often has this surprising effect.


Copyright March 18, 2016 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved

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