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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

No-Nonsense Nurturing: Keeping it real

Egocentrism     (Uploaded by Chillis27)
In preparing kids for the “real world,” parents and teachers are realizing that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. 

Even praise.

The "everyone deserves a trophy" stance can foster “narcissism in children” that is cultivated by “overvaluation.”  When “Good job!” is said too many times, about even the most mundane of activities, kids begin to crave outer validation.  They then rely less and less upon their own inner barometers of confidence and achievement.

Bryanne Salazar of She Knows explains:  These empty, valueless praises instill the belief that a child needs a verbal reward for doing what every other person in all of humanity has done… (things like eating, bathing, and cleaning up after self).

Constantly asking (or practically begging) children to please do this, that and the other thing can become a problem.  The word “please” often connotes a favor, as opposed to an expectation.  Kids then begin to feel that adults (and the world itself) owe them big time.

Clear, firm and direct communication can instead “be pivotal to how a child internalizes instructions.”    


Copyright January 12, 2016 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved

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