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Monday, November 24, 2014

Seven steps to misery

(by Robert Burton)
In case you’re so happy that you just can’t stand it, here are some pointers for becoming as miserable as most.

Begin by considering yourself to be life’s ultimate victim.  Adopt this mantra:  Life is hard, very hard.

Strengthen this position by focusing upon all that’s wrong with the world.  Watch the evening news faithfully.  Better yet, listen to talk shows 24/7.

Don’t bother calling a friend to commiserate with because friends, along with everyone else, are not to be trusted.

In fact, friends should be envied for all that they have, and for all that you wish you had.

It is therefore prudent to try and bring friends down to your own sorry level.  This can best be accomplished through gossip and complaints.

When you find yourself dumped by those you have slandered, it’s time to become frantic about a lonely future. 

Control is now the key to success.  Micromanaging every last thing is about all that’s left to do.


Copyright November 24, 2014 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved

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