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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tracy McMillan: Marriage maven


(Photo by Jeff Belmonte of Cuiaba, Brazil)
Three-times married Tracy McMillan has learned the hard way that marriage is not just about “a ring and a rose,” but is also about “being more loving.”

In an AskMen interview, TV writer McMillan said that this entails “loving someone even when they don’t deserve it” because - after all - no one is “going to deserve it all the time.”  In order to help make this possible (and even palatable), McMillan advises that the chosen spouse be “someone with great character, someone who’s
a great friend.”

All well and good…  But what to do in the meantime while searching for that certain someone?   McMillan’s answer:  Work on becoming that certain someone by polishing some rough edges of your own.  These rough
edges, although presented by McMillan in streetwise lingo, are blatantly reminiscent of what religion calls “the seven deadly sins.”  They include lying, cheating, idolatry (aka “shallowness”), and an unhealthy dose of unrighteous indignation.

McMillan’s talk-of-the-town opus, Why You’re Not Married… Yet, heralds a woman-in-the-mirror approach.  Not a primping and preening woman-in-the-mirror, but an honestly self-appraising woman-in-the-mirror…  And what would this brave female be on the lookout for?  For starters, it would greatly help to identify what she really wants.  During an Amazon.com Q & A Review, McMillan states that in her experience, “about 93% of the women over say, 27 who are having sex with a guy would actually like to be in a relationship with that guy…  We wish we could just date and have sex casually, but many of us just can’t…”  

If all this is beginning to sound like a life sentence to some endurance contest, that’s because marriage somewhat is.  As McMillan puts it:  …marriage in particular – is the ultimate yoga.  Nothing challenges
a person to expand like being asked to love an actual, real-live, totally flawed human being.

Resources

http://www.askmen.com/celebs/interview_500/508_tracy-mcmillan-interview.html 
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Youre-Not-Married-Yet/dp/0345532929/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339708534&sr=1-1-fkmr0

Copyright July 12, 2012 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved














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