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| (Photo by Cryptic C62) |
If spouses were to greet one another with drum rolls (or the psychological equivalent thereof), marriages could vastly improve.
Alas! Many instead
douse the flames of love with eye rolls.
These sarcastic ocular gestures scream DISRESPECT, and often end up spelling DIVORCE.
Zahra Barnes of SELF
reports that many such eyes are so used to rolling around like a bunch of billiard balls, they don't even realize that they're doing it. She cites Dr. John Gottman, "the lead researcher behind a landmark study about divorce predictors," as stating that eye rolling shows contempt – and contempt is "the number 1 predictor of divorce…" (worse yet than "criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling").
Since habitual eye-rollers don't necessarily realize when they're
engaging in this behavior, how can they possibly stop?
The trick is to nip the behavior in the bud. As soon as a feeling of frustration
begins to well up, they can assume that eye rolling is about to begin. They can therefore purposely look down at that very moment.
This downward glance may evoke humility rather than contempt, and might even eventually become an authentic response.
Resources
http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/rolling-your-eyes-the-everyday-behavior-thats-hurting-your-relationship
Copyright March 2, 2014 by Linda Van Slyke All Rights Reserved
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