Alzheimer's: Is there a silver-haired lining?

In his Finding Joy in Alzheimer's article for the New York Times, Robert Leleux offers an urgently-needed alternative to the oft-repeated gloom and doom views about Alzheimer's.

He tells the story of his beloved grandmother JoAnn's ascent into Alzheimer's.  Although (or because) her memory was weakening, other - and perhaps more important - aspects of her being were strengthening.  When JoAnn first began experiencing memory loss, she quipped:  The most wonderful thing about Alzheimer's is that you always live in the moment.  In other words, the "Be Here Now" type consciousness that is so highly regarded by many spiritual teachers seems part and parcel of the Alzheimer's progression.

Along with this tendency to live in the present comes the delightful ability to let go of grudges.  Although it may be possible to forgive yet not forget, it seems well-nigh impossible to forget yet not forgive.  This latter scenario makes Jesus' admonition to forgive "seventy times seven" (Matthew 18:22) seem workable since none of the previous 489 offences would have been remembered anyway.

Leleux reports that JoAnn had held a grudge against her daughter (his mother) for years.  The dementia allowed her to bypass this "chronic conflict" and "meet her estranged daughter... for the first time again."  Leleux concludes:  Like King Lear, as Joann lost reason, she gained clarity.

Society has yet to embrace some of these silver linings of Alzheimer's.  Family and friends often focus upon the losses rather than the gains.  Leleux theorizes that because most Alzheimer patients are elderly, society tends to view them as the "living dead" rather than as fascinating folks who are embarking upon an adventure in consciousness.  He points out that the very same people who wouldn't dream of dismissing a child as "retarded" have no compunction about negating people with Alzheimer's as having "lost themselves."

But what if they've actually gained themselves?  After all, Leleux has learned these two lessons from JoAnn's sacred example:  ...we are more than the sum of our memories... and ...sometimes it's only our commitment to remembering that prevents us from accepting the love and peace that surrounds us.


Resources

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/16/finding-joy-in-alzheimers/
http://bible.cc/matthew/18-22.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ageing
http://www.robertleleux.com/about.html


Copyright March 3, 2012 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved