 |
| (Raining cats, dogs and misery) |
perhaps there should be. With modernized inspiration from
Proverbs 27:15, it could sound something like this: Husbands
and wives alike, be not akin to the continual dripping of rain.
Elizabeth Bernstein of The Wall Street Journal describes
nagging as “the interaction in which one person repeatedly
makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and
both become increasingly annoyed.” In her article, Meet the Marriage Killer, she warns that nagging is “more common than adultery and potentially as toxic.” Yet couples seem to grapple with it incessantly… Why?
Bernstein draws upon the wisdom of Scott Wetzler - Vice Chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at New York’s Montefiore Medical Center – when attempting to answer this question. Wetzler explains that people nag due to a belief that they won’t get what they want if they just ask once or twice. Ironically, repeated asking
seems to foster even more resistance to the requests.
This push-pull dynamic intensifies when the nagger is “an extremely organized, obsessive or anxious person,” and the one being nagged is “laid back and often does things at the last minute.” According to Dr. Howard Markham - Co-Director of The Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver - the problem compounds when “couples start fighting about the nagging rather than talking about the issue at the root of the nagging.”
Although Proverbs focuses upon the annoying traits of a “quarrelsome wife” - nagging is by no means a
singularly-female attribute. Plus, the resistance of whomever is being nagged can contribute to the overall contentiousness every bit as much as the nagging itself.
Resources
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728.html?mod=WSJ_LifeStyle_LeadStoryNA#articleTabs%3Darticle
http://bible.cc/proverbs/27-15.htm
Copyright February 12, 2012 by Linda Van Slyke All Rights Reserved
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