What do you mean they're all Jewish?

Elvis Presley's Parents

Elvis Presley, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Christopher Columbus - all Jewish?  Well, I'll be the Queen of England!

Maybe she's Jewish too, according to some esteemed sources.  On account of the "fact" that King David was her great, Great, GREAT ancestor...

At least Elvis flaunted it (along with much else).  He was known to have worn the Jewish chai symbol, and to have put a Jewish Star of David on his mother's headstone.  Columbus, on the other hand, went around bragging that he was Christ's gift to the "heathen" world.  And Ahmadinejad...  Need I say more?

So how is it that they're all being called Jewish?

Perhaps it has something to do with the "once a Jew, always a Jew" rule book, which is especially studied by Jews with a sense of humor (see Adam Sandler), and non-Jews with a sense of genocide.

Catholics who vacation in the Galapagos Islands and come back confirmed Darwinians are no longer necessarily called "Catholics."  Hindus who are struck blind by visions of Jesus on the road to New Delhi are no longer necessarily called "Hindus."  But people whose families converted (willingly or Inquisition style) to markedly different religions generations ago are still being deemed "Jews" today.  And people who may have had one Jewish ancestor among dozens are also being given the "Aha! So that's who (what) you really are" treatment.

Yet according to the Torah of Moses, Judaism involves a whole lot more than genetics.  Try reviewing the Ten Commandments, and if still not convinced, scroll through the other 600 or so mitzvot.

Resources

https://www.thejc.com/life-and-culture/all/uh-huh-elvis-was-a-nice-jewish-boy-6jfiuqs8VLSD32PZ5Ti8xn

https://www.cnn.com/2012/05/20/opinion/garcia-columbus-jewish/index.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244013508960#:~:text=The%20inescapable%20conclusion%20is%20that,not%20have%20her%20sons%20circumcised.

https://foreignpolicy.com/2009/10/06/does-mahmoud-ahmadinejad-have-jewish-roots/