Dementia: Who's really present?



Alzeimer's Neurofibrillary Tangle

When my landlord’s memory “went” (as they say, although they don’t say where), he seemed to be a much happier person.   Gradually, he was able to talk back to his wife (a skill he had not exercised much during their 50 plus years together) - and was even able to muster up an additional rant or two.

When my friend’s memory went, she seemed to be a much kinder person.  It no longer mattered who shafted whom, how cheap an outfit they were wearing at the time, or what nasty chain of events followed.  She would instead just smile sweetly – then punctuate every other sentence with an “It’s so good to see you!”

The groundbreaking work that Dr. Michelle S. Bourgeois has been doing with Alzheimer’s and dementia-categorized clients resonates with these experiences.  Coauthor of the comprehensive text Dementia: From Diagnosis to Management – A Functional Approach, Bourgeois presents a host of effective strength-based communication tools, based upon the premise that – first and foremost – your loved one is still very much present.  Not only that, your loved one may very well be feeling that his or her present life is a good one.

Contrary to popular opinion, you’re not what you eat.  Neither are you what you think.  Nor are you what you remember.  If you were Ronald Reagan before Alzheimer’s, you remain Ronald Reagan throughout it all.  For who - after all - is Ronald Reagan?  A president?  A husband?  A father?  All of those – yet, eventually, none of those…  We all must shed such “identities” when death do us part (and other roles even before then).

If reincarnation theory is correct, we’ve all had numerous identities, and have (blessedly) forgotten most of them.  Life would be on continuous overload if we constantly remembered everything.  Buddhism teaches us not to cling to even our own bodies and minds.  Perhaps dementia is one way of forgetting the Many in order to truly remember the One.

Resources

http://sphs.osu.edu/Faculty/Bourgeois/Bourgeois.html

http://www.taylorandfrancis.com/books/details/9780805856064/

http://www.parade.com/health/2010/11/21-unlocking-the-silent-prison.html

Copyright November 24, 2010 by Linda Van Slyke   All Rights Reserved