On the Ritz

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing
(Photo by Matej Batna)

What could be better than butter?  That’s the philosophy of Ritz, which is putting on a whole new cracker with a “buttery flavor.”

To commemorate this hoopla, the company is offering one lucky consumer a “gold butter bar” worth $100,000.  Shaped like a stick of bovine extrusion, this coveted prize can be had for some TikTok tomfoolery.

Yet “buttery flavor” cannot nourish like butter, and karats cannot nourish like carrots.  In a pinch, it’s way better to have Nature’s own bounty on your plate.

Resources

https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/butter-lovers-new-ritz-cracker-offering-limited-edition-flavor-plus-gold-opportunity 

Boiled Alive

(NOAA Photo Library)

The next time you stroll past a supermarket lobster tank, think about this: scientists are beginning to suspect that these boiled-alive victims have been sentient right along.

Animal consciousness has been even tougher to define than human consciousness.  Some say that animal sentience denotes “an ability to have subjective experiences,” even to the point of self-awareness.

Mirror tests have long been used to determine whether a creature exhibits some sense of self.  If an animal shows signs of recognizing its own reflection, then it likely possesses a degree of self-awareness.  Amazingly, tiny wrasse fish have been known to pass such tests.

Additional research has indicated that zebrafish act curious, cuttlefish remember particular sights and smells, and crayfish feel anxiety.  Such results have led British law to classify octopuses, lobsters and crabs as sentient beings.  Our own State of Oregon declared years ago that animals are “capable of feeling pain, stress and fear.”

Professor Jonathan Birch of the London School of Economics has been heavily involved with the Foundations of Animal Sentience project.  He is therefore a proponent of “humane slaughter” techniques.  This seems a step up from being boiled alive, but not nearly as kind as vegetarianism could be.

Resources

https://www.yahoo.com/news/scientists-push-paradigm-animal-consciousness-151744245.html 

Eensy Weensy Obelisks

Lincoln's Tomb
(Photo by Joseph Isaac Carroll)

What do Ludwig van Beethoven and Abraham Lincoln have in common?  That’s easy – they both have obelisk tombstones.

Chances are that they even had obelisks while still alive: tiny critters that inhabited their digestive tracts.  As Beethoven was hammering his Fifth and Lincoln was addressing Gettysburg, these rod-shaped viroids were busily transmitting bio-bits.

According to University of Bath Professor Ed Feil, a viroid is “one step down from a virus… just a scrap of genetic RNA that can’t make proteins,” but can wreak havoc in flowering plants. 

Can they also wreak havoc in humans?  That remains to be seen.  Yet these bodily invaders seem to have left Beethoven and Lincoln with most of their extraordinary faculties intact.

Resources

https://news.yahoo.com/lifestyle/obelisk-lifeform-hiding-inside-humans-130000899.html

Three Coins in the Engine

 

Trevi Fountain - Rome, Italy
(1750 Painting by G. P. Pannini)

If you’re tired of being single, the solution is simple: Visit the Trevi Fountain in Rome and throw three coins into it.  If you do this with your right hand over your left shoulder as you face away from the fountain, legend has it that your marital status will change.

China also has a tradition of good-luck coins.  There’s a “lucky money toad named Ch’an Chu” that sits upon many Chinese tables and shelves.  This figurine holds “a small gold coin in his mouth” and is said to “bring wealth and protect one from financial disasters.”

All well and good, thus far.  Throwing coins into a fountain is a relatively harmless endeavor, as is harboring a virtual toad.  Yet  throwing coins into a jet engine before takeoff can be quite another story.  Chinese Southern Airlines recently issued a stern warning against this so-called “uncivilized behavior” after a passenger admitted throwing three to five coins at a runway aircraft in order to ensure a good flight.

Resources

https://www.iheart.com/content/2024-03-08-officials-asking-plane-passengers-to-stop-throwing-coins-at-planes/

https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/can-coins-bring-good-fortune/

Wrinkled Roots

Dance of Life
(Public Domain)

We tend to associate aging with such things as wrinkles and sags.  Yet we often confuse outward symptoms with inward causes. 

The tip of the iceberg is merely a signal that something lethal is looming.  Getting at the root of such pointers could not only prolong life considerably, but also lead to a happier longevity.

The “dozen hallmarks of aging that appear capable of nudging life span – and likely health span” have names which read like alphabet soup.  From “dysbiosis” to “disabled macroautophagy,” the list appears daunting to an untrained eye.  These tongue-twister demons interfere with healthy bodily processes such as DNA stability and cellular metabolism.

Correctly identifying microscopic villains is a great first step.  Scientists have already discovered certain ways to combat their insidious effects.  “Drugs called senolytics” have been used to induce suicide within troublesome cells.  Trial runs have suggested that senolytics can improve the eyesight of patients with “diabetic macular edema.”

Resources

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/aging-geroscience-health-span-drugs 

Please pass the charoset

 

Passover Table
(Photo by datafox)

The “life is short, eat dessert first” crowd might favor the charoset on the Passover platter.  Although this sticky mixture of fruit, nuts, spices and wine is there to symbolize “the mortar used by Hebrew slaves to build Egyptian structures,” it is the sweetest-tasting item there.

Other components, such as the salty-tears karpas (parsley), the bitter-ordeal maror (horseradish), and the sacrificial shankbone (or bloody-looking beets) can seem far more daunting. 

Nevertheless, the seder night is different from all others because it commemorates the giant shoulders that so many have been standing upon.  Life itself is bittersweet, yet filled with miraculous treasures.

Resources

https://reformjudaism.org/jewish-holidays/passover/learn-about-passover-seder-plate

Father Abraham

 

Abraham and Tad, 1864
(Photo by Anthony Berger) 

Abraham Lincoln was named after his paternal grandfather, a military captain from the American Revolutionary War. Their likely namesake was the patriarch Abraham, considered to be the father of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Lincoln had four sons: Robert, Edward (Eddie), William (Willie), and Thomas (Tad).  Tragically, Eddie died in infancy, Willie at age 11, and Tad at 18.  Robert Todd Lincoln served as a captain in the Union Army at the tail end of the Civil War.  He was granted an honorary law degree from Harvard University and served as Secretary of War under James Garfield and Chester Arthur.  Robert was present at the 1922 dedication of his father’s Washington, D.C. memorial.

After the birth of their sons, Mary Todd Lincoln began calling her husband “Father.”  He was also called “Father Abraham” by many a grateful citizen.  A popular 1862 poem began with the line “We are coming, Father Abraham, Three Hundred Thousand More.”  This was in response to Lincoln’s urgent call for Union Army recruits.  His paternal nickname also reflected Lincoln’s habit of dispensing advice, whether asked for or not.      

Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Booth on April 14, 1865, which happened to be Good Friday of that year.  “Father Abraham” then took on divine overtones.  Evangelicals felt that Lincoln’s martyrdom was payment for the nation’s sins.  Only a month before, Lincoln had emphasized the sin of slavery during his Second Inaugural Address.

Resources

https://time.com/4738248/good-friday-palm-sunday-civil-war-appomattox/